Outrage

Hi, Dudgeon!

How are you? So good to see you again. Why, just the other day, I was thinking, “Isn't it about time for another tempest in a teapot? Time for feigned outrage and wagging conservative fingers and ‘How dare they!’” And here you are! Trembling with indignation and barely able to contain your anger — you look so cute when you're mad. You've been waiting too long for something to really get you fired up, haven't you?

I mean, gay marriage is so November 2004, and while stem cell research looks like a promising wedge issue, it's kind of tricky. Yes, I know, it's all about the babies. Beautiful, precious snowflake babies that mad scientists want to use for their nefarious experiments. But here's the rub: both Democrats and Republicans benefit from IVF, which means that both red and blue embryos are frozen and eventually destroyed.

Fortunately for you, HD, we have a fresh affront to human dignity, thanks to John Kerry. You need to run with this one and make sure it stays in the news until election day. Go on Larry King and demand a mea culpa. Stomp that horse into the ground, resurrect him and kick the shit out of him until all the votes are counted. By all means, don't listen to Kerry when he says this is the joke he meant to deliver [emphasis mine]:

"I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

Whatever you do, do not let this veteran breathe a word about the troops. He clearly hates them. And I know I can count on you, HD, for some quality, high-pitched screaming when the liberal media starts getting all contexty on you.

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Squares dance

Barring a stolen election, if the circular firing squad continues to work its magic, we may just get some good better* news next Tuesday.

Speaking of CFSs, the square dance scene at the end of this Bugs Bunny cartoon reminds me of the RNC.



*I'm hoping and praying for a Democratic majority (better news), but what would make my heart even happier would be a party of true progressives, like Barbara Lee, John Conyers and Dennis Kucinich (really good news).

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Stay the course

You do know "stay the course" means cut and run, don't you? Yeppers, it does. And I'm the goddamned Easter Bunny.

Watch this (via L-girl)

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Suggested responses to "inspirational" e-mails from formerly rational friends who have turned fundamentalist

1. "Oh my fucking God, I was just thinking about you."
   
   
2. "You must be in training for the Irony Olympics. Wow, you're good. I bet you'll bring home all the gold."
   
   
3. "If Jesus and the apostles jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you do it, too?"
   
   
4. "If God can do anything, can He ____ a ____ so ____, He can't ____ ____?"
   
   (Fill in the blanks. Make/rock/heavy/lift/it is classic, but create/zealot/sanctimonious/stand/him is also nice.
   
   
5. Explain that #2 is a joke. Explain irony. Tell your friend that there are many kinds of Olympics. Bitch Olynpics, Asshole Olympics, Preachy Motherfucker Olympics, to name a few.

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Delicious

This is funny. I got a visit today from CENTCOM today — my first, I think. Guess how they found me? Yep, via The Google. We all love The Google. You know what's even funnier? The search term they used to find me: "fucking wingnuts." Yes, those are your tax dollars at work.
Just yesterday, I was telling W about the "I'm feeling lucky" button on The Google. It's cool. Try it with yesterday's suggested search term, or try "fucking wingnuts." You won't believe who comes up.

The world is getting smaller every day, no? Old White Lady has more on CENTCOM's efforts to reach out to the blogging community.

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The Google

What an idiot. When asked if he goes online, Fucky McFucker told CNBC's Maria Bartiromo:

Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see that. I forgot the name of the program, but you get the satellite and you can — like, I kind of like to look at the ranch on Google, reminds me of where I want to be sometimes. Yeah, I do it some.

The Google is on the Internets, heh, heh. I can use it to find my ranch. I like to go there and drink some beers clear some brush and drive my truck.

Just shut up and go google yourself and see what people really think of you — start with WSJ readers.. Unlike Wonkette, I don't find their comments "cruel" or "savage." Those adjectives should be applied to waterboarding, or any one of the many depravities committed in our name; criticizing Bush is patriotic.

Oh, and W? Being a fortunate son, you might like the "I'm feeling lucky" button on the Google. Try it: type "dry drunk." Nifty, eh?

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RIP, Habeas Corpus

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Ha!

Visit Shakespeare's Sister and watch this brilliant political ad.

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Waving at the House of Representatives

Hi there! Thanks for stopping by, whoever you are.

Yes, I got a visit yesterday from someone in the House, specifically housegate10.house.gov, who was referred by wmtc. At first, I was excited, thinking that maybe John Conyers stopped by. Wouldn't that be cool? But I'm guessing it wasn't him.

A Google search of the IP address (143.231.249.141) revealed something interesting. Wikipedia blocked this address earlier this year, after it was discovered that House staff had vandalized several Wikipedia entries. Catapulting the propaganda, I suppose.

So, do I find this a little creepy? Not so much. I've had visits from the US government before, including the DoD. Do I worry about being labeled unpatriotic? No. Am I concerned about regular people like me being thrown into secret prisons? Well, yes. Do I sound like Donald Rumseld? I think so.

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Yummy

Serve this soup with a salad and whole wheat rolls for a healthy, hearty fall meal.

Curried butternut squash soup

Preheat oven to 400°F. In a large bowl, combine 1/2 butternut squash, peeled and cut into medium-sized cubes, one thickly sliced yellow onion and two or three cloves of peeled garlic. Toss with olive oil to coat and place on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Roast until squash is tender, about 20 minutes.

Add some curry powder to a large pot and cook over medium heat until fragrant. Add the squash, onions and garlic, cover with vegetable stock and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove the pot from the stove and puree squash mixture and stock in a blender or food processor (you may need to add more stock) and pour back into the pot. Add some half and half and simmer until hot. Ladle into bowls and serve. If you're feeling ambitious, you can squeeze some creme fraiche into concentric circles on top of the soup and drag a toothpick through them. Or if you're lazy and hungry, like I usually am, just dig in.

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Operation Cure the Cabinet

This is a fun game from TrueMajority. I play it about as badly as I play the original Operation. Sigh...if only it were this easy to remove these thugs. I'd pick them up with giant tweezers and drop them straight into a war crimes trial.

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World Can't Wait photos

We rallied. We marched. We chanted.

According to this article from SFGate, there were "hundreds" of protestors. Maybe at the rally, but as we made our way down Market Street, more people joined us and the march was several blocks long. Does that sound like "hundreds" of people? Twenty hundred, perhaps. If I find a more accurate count, I'll post it.

In addition to the marchers, there were plenty of people honking and hanging out office windows. I didn't see any counter-protesters, although one guy did say "Go, Bush" several times as we walked by. How can you argue with such a compelling statement? Well, one way is "Are you fucking crazy?" shouted through a bullhorn, which got a big laugh from the crowd. Poor, deluded Republicans. Is that the best you've got? "Go, Bush"? Tear yourselves away from Fox News for a moment. Wake up and smell the torture and the burning Constitution. Think, damn it. Your God will thank you for it.

Here are my photos of the event, and here is a report from World Can't Wait.

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"The cry of a leader crumbling under the weight of his own lies"

Keith Olbermann nails Bush yet again. Damn.

It is the terror and the guilt within your own heart, Mr. Bush, that you re-direct at others who simply wish for you to temper your certainty with counsel.

It is the failure and the incompetence within your own memory, Mr. Bush, that leads you to demonize those who might merely quote to you the pleadings of Oliver Cromwell: "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken."

It is not the Democrats whose inaction in the face of the enemy you fear, sir.

It is your own — before 9/11 - (and you alone know this), perhaps afterwards.

Mr. President, these new lies go to the heart of what it is that you truly wish to preserve.

It is not our freedom, nor our country — your actions against the Constitution give irrefutable proof of that.

You want to preserve a political party's power. And obviously you'll sell this country out, to do it.

These are lies about the Democrats piled atop lies about Iraq which were piled atop lies about your preparations for Al-Qaeda.

Read and watch.

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WCW

Our world is careening toward destruction, but we can still speak out. I'll post more pictures of today's rally and march later...

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Hello, Mr. Pickle

I had a visit from the Senate's top cop the other day. He or one of his staff wanted to see the video I posted — glad I could help.

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