Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Politically active

So, tonight J says, "I want to be Carrie Bradshaw."

"She's kind of shallow," I said. (Full disclosure: I like the mind-numbing, but frequently funny Sex and the City. I don't want their lives, but I love to watch.) "Does she ever do any volunteer work? Does she even vote?"

"People don't do that stuff on TV," J said. "But remember that time she went to a fundraiser for that politician who wanted to pee on her?"


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Monday, July 24, 2006

Something light

Here's a yummy meal that won't heat up your kitchen.

Pour 1 1/2 cups of boiling water over one cup of uncoooked bulgur in a large bowl. Cover and let it sit for 15-20 minutes until the water is absorbed. Add olive oil, fresh lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste. Add two medium seeded, cubed tomatoes, two sliced green onions and crumbled feta cheese to taste. Serve with diced cucumbers tossed in a little plain yogurt, lemon juice and salt and pepper.


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Too cute

Look!

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This is Catherine's dog Liam. Or, should I say Catherine is Liam's person? Either way, he is the cutest little guy.

I'm not a dog person, but I am smitten.


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Friday, July 21, 2006

Test

WTF is up with Blogger?


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Friday, July 14, 2006

Question for Rush Limbaugh

Given your disdain for politically correct language and the recent revelations about your little blue pills, how would you like people to refer to your medical condition? Do you prefer "impotence" or "ED"?


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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Eeewlogy

While I'm not a bit surprised that Ken Lay's family and friends didn't rip him a posthumous new asshole, I'm horrified that a minister would praise him. Didn't Jesus have something to say about not fucking people over?

Lay recalled as an honest man by friends and family
Ken Lay was remembered as an honest man dedicated to his family and to God today as more than a thousand friends, former employees and dignitaries packed the First United Methodist church for the former Enron chief's Houston memorial service.

[...]

The Rev. Bill Lawson, pastor of Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church, likened Lay to James Byrd, an African-American man who was dragged to death in a racially motivated murder near Jasper eight years ago.

"Ken Lay was neither black nor poor as James Byrd was," Lawson said. "But I'm angry because he was the victim of a lynching." Lawson, who also spoke at Lay's Colorado memorial service, likened the businessman to President John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus — all of whom, the minister said, were wrongly victimized.

Lawson noted that Lay was rich and powerful and gave to many political campaigns over the years. "He was a lover of people," Lawson said.

"Those who did not like him have had their say, and I'd like to have mine," Lawson said. "And I don't care what you think."
OK, then. Lay was neither black nor poor, nor murdered by racist fucks, but he was still a lynching victim, according to a civil rights activist and community leader. Oh, and he was Kennedyesque, too. And kind of like Dr. King. And way Jesusy.

Anybody here seen my old friend Ken?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people,
But it seems the good they die young.
I just looked around and he's gone.


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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Top ten signs you're a fundamentalist Christian

From the best of craigslist:
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.


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Bush birthday update

It may have been Fucky McFucker's birthday, but I got the nicest gift in my mailbox last week. What could be better than the perfect word, at the perfect time? I won't need to return this, since it fits perfectly.

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Of course, one could argue that hubris is F McF's "gift." He has certainly been blessed with an abundance of it.


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Friday, July 07, 2006

Rupert Murdoch's MySpace

This is pretty funny.


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Thursday, July 06, 2006

You look like a monkey

And you act like one, too.*

Fucky McFucker is 60 today! Let's all wish him a happy birthday.

*An unevolved, poo-flinging monkey.


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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Today is rambling post day

Happy 5th of July, everyone! Happy birthday to P.T. Barnum and Dolly the Sheep!

I'm a day late, you say? I missed out on all of the festivities? Not according to Googlism, which says that the 5th of july:
  • is a much more interesting ride
  • is not so brazen
  • is one of the busiest days of the year for the maricopa county animal control services
  • is a day you wake up faintly remembering a parade
  • is not necessarily a holiday for everyone
And anyway, I did celebrate yesterday, in a spectactularly liberal fashion. I got up bright and early and braided my leg hair, which I had previously dyed red, white and blue. After gnashing my teeth and cursing all that is patriotic and holy, I tossed a bunch of American flags on the barbecue and laughed maniacally as they burned. (Pretty, pretty fire!) What else? Oh yes, I sacrificed a goat and then...oh fuck it, I'm no Ann Coulter.


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Two headlines

CNN headline: Enron founder Ken Lay dies

CNN headline (international edition): Enron fraudster Lay dies

I find this fascinating. Both headlines are true, both contain almost the same number of words, and the difference is one two-syllable word, which in both cases begins with an "f" and ends with "er."* And yet, there is a world of difference.

*One day I'd like to see a headline about Bush in which he is described as a "f___er."


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