Correction

Hey, Fox News, Bill O'Reilly and other BushCo shills — have you heard? John Murtha was misquoted in that Sun Sentinel story. He never said "the American presence in Iraq is more dangerous to world peace than nuclear threats from North Korea or Iran." The Sun Sentinel misquoted him, and you ran with it.

Here is the Sun-Sentinel's correction:

"An article in Sunday's editions misinterpreted a comment from U.S. Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., at a town hall meeting in North Miami on Saturday. In his speech, Murtha said U.S. credibility was suffering because of continued U.S. military presence in Iraq , and the perception that the U.S. is an occupying force. Murtha was citing a recent poll, by the Pew Global Attitudes Project, that indicates a greater percentage of people in 10 of 14 foreign countries consider the U.S. in Iraq a greater danger to world peace than any threats posed by Iran or North Korea."

More from E&P

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Ha!

Tom Tomorrow on The absolutely true story of the liberal cocktail party that caused a lifelong Democrat to become a Republican!

After you've laughed your ass off, go to Tom's blog and laugh some more as he takes on David "Bobo" Brooks.

PS Conservatives: Our satirists/pundits/columnists are funnier than yours. What's the best you've got? Brooks? Ben Stein? Dennis Miller? /snicker

Sorry, dicky ≠ funny.

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The Dark Side

Did you catch Frontline's The Dark Side the other night? If not, you can watch this excellent documentary online.

The title refers to Dick Cheney's ominous post-9/11 pronouncement that the government would have to operate on the "dark side." As many of us know, and as Frontline makes clear, Cheney has been operating in the shadows for decades.

The Dark Side covers familiar territory — the selective use of "facts" to justify a war that had been plannned for years, rendition, or the outsourcing of torture, that Cheney is the man pulling the strings, to name a few examples. What makes The Dark Side so compelling are the timeline of events leading to war and the numerous interviews with former insiders — from the CIA, State and DoD.

Do watch if you can.

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Work stuff

The past few weeks at work have been difficult. I won't bore you with the details, but let me just say that I've been working with an arrogant asshole, and because I am such a fucking professional, I've had to bite my tongue and keep my opinions to myself. Fortunately, AA is leaving, but it's been awful dealing with that worm-infested bad apple.

Speaking of work, this article from The Onion was just what I needed today. Enjoy!

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Knock knock

Who's there?
Your civil liberties.

Just kidding. It's the cops, and guess what? They don't have to knock anymore.

A divided Supreme Court said Thursday that police with search warrants who barged into homes without knocking didn't risk having evidence they uncovered tossed out at trial, a ruling that civil liberties advocates called a major blow to privacy protections.

The 5-4 decision turns on a distinction drawn between how police enter a home and what they find once they're inside.

Yes, the so-called knock-and-announce rule is violated when police fail to announce their presence and wait a reasonable amount of time before entering someone's home. But no, that violation isn't sufficiently related to what they find during a search to justify banning drugs, guns or any other evidence that's uncovered from later criminal proceedings.

Justice Antonin Scalia said the increasing professionalism of police and the threat of civil suits was enough of a deterrent to keep officers from abusing their authority.

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Mental tchotchkes

• I can bend my arms backwards at the elbows. It's pretty cool.


• One day, I will ask a fundamentalist, "If Jesus told you to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you do it?"


• I am ADD enough to leave the iron on when I leave for work and OCD enough to obsess all day about burning down my place. So, I have a little trick that keeps visions of homelessness and lawsuits out of my head. When I'm done with the iron, I pull the plug, stare at the outlet and say, "See? No plug." Then I pick up the iron and move it across the room. Sometimes I'll shake the cord a few times and then stare at the outlet again.

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Number one with a bullet

A few bullets, actually. Have you seen Hadji Girl? It's disgusting. That some are trying to claim it is a joke, a kind of satire or parody, is equally disgusting and either completely disingenuous or just ignorant — I'm not sure which.

Satire's purpose is to mock those in power. Think of the journalist's maxim: Afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted. (Seriously, think about it. That's what journalists used to do before they began brazenly giving handjobs to the GOP on cable news.) If you're the oppressor, and you mock those you are oppressing, you are not being funny, or edgy, or satirical. You are openly declaring your cruelty and stupidity.

Of course, what do I know? I'm a humor-challenged progressive, so I don't bust a gut laughing at little girls being used as human shields.

Watch the video here.

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Colbert!

Stephen Colbert addressed the graduating class of Knox College on Saturday.

My favorite part:

And when you enter the workforce, you will find competition from those crossing our all-too-poorest borders. Now I know you’re all going to say, “Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America.” Yes, but here’s the thing—it’s built now. I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it’s a touch-up and repair job. But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spansih, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.

So we must build walls. A wall obviously across the entire southern border. That’s the answer. That may not be enough—maybe a moat in front of it, or a fire-pit. Maybe a flaming moat, filled with fire-proof crocodiles. And we should probably wall off the northern border as well. Keep those Canadians with their socialized medicine and their skunky beer out. And because immigrants can swim, we’ll probably want to wall off the coasts as well. And while we’re at it, we need to put up a dome, in case they have catapults. And we’ll punch some holes in it so we can breathe. Breathe free. It’s time for illegal immigrants to go—right after they finish building those walls. Yes, yes, I agree with me.

Full commencement address here

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A little Friday night schadenfreude

Oops, looks like Ann Coulter may have voted illegally. I just hate when that happens.

A poll worker reported to his supervisors that he saw Coulter try to vote in the precinct closest to her Palm Beach home. But when she was told the address on her voter's registration was elsewhere, Coulter ran out instead of correcting it and ended up voting in a precinct that wasn't hers. Knowingly voting in the wrong precinct in Florida is a felony.

More from Brad Blog.

To anyone foolish enough to pity Pretty Girl for her legal woes: let me serenade you with the world's smallest violin while you check out these gems from Ms. Coulter:

"When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."

"Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like liberals do. Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like liberals do. They don't have the energy. If they had that much energy, they'd have indoor plumbing by now."

And my favorite:

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."

Anyone want to place a bet that she'll find a way to use this story to her advantage?

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The lighter side of 9/11

From the Daou Report, an excerpt of a 2003 Ladies' Home Journal with our sitcom First Family:

"[Peggy] Noonan: You were separated on September 11th. What was it like when you saw each other again?

Mrs. Bush: Well, we just hugged. I think there was a certain amount of security in being with each other than being apart.

President Bush: But the day ended on a relatively humorous note. The agents said, "You'll be sleeping downstairs. Washington's still a dangerous place." And I said no, I can't sleep down there, the bed didn't look comfortable. I was really tired, Laura was tired, we like our own bed. We like our own routine. You know, kind of a nester. Like the way things are. I knew I had to deal with the issue the next day and provide strength and comfort to the country, and so I needed rest in order to be mentally prepared. So I told the agent we're going upstairs, and he reluctantly said okay. Laura wears contacts, and she was sound asleep. Barney was there. And the agent comes running up and says, "We're under attack. We need you downstairs," and so there we go. I'm in my running shorts and my T-shirt, and I'm barefooted. Got the dog in one hand, Laura had a cat, I'm holding Laura --

Mrs. Bush: I don't have my contacts in, and I'm in my fuzzy house slippers --

President Bush: And this guy's out of breath, and we're heading straight down to the basement because there's an incoming unidentified airplane, which is coming toward the White House. Then the guy says it's a friendly airplane. And we hustle all the way back upstairs and go to bed.

Mrs. Bush: [laughs] And we just lay there thinking about the way we must have looked.

Noonan: So the day starts in tragedy and ends in Marx Brothers.

President Bush: That's right -- we got a laugh out of it." [Emphasis added]

You know that cozy feeling you get when you've laughed so hard your stomach hurts, when you know everyone is safe, when you've shared a moment with your spouse and your Secret Service agents? Isn't that the best? And then you get to cuddle in bed, eating popcorn and rehashing the days events. You get to say stuff like "You looked so cute in your fuzzy slippers, squinting without your contacts and your hair all messed up." And "Well, what about you, snuggle bunny? Freaking out over that unidentified plane. Was my widdle boy a fraidy cat?" And then the good-natured teasing leads to a pillow fight and some serious tickling, followed by sweet dreams and the deep sleep that comes with knowing all is right with the world.

Well, I'm glad somebody slept well that night.

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